“Maaaarc!” I called from the shower.
“Marc? Marc? Marc! Are you out there?”
He didn’t arrive to rescue me. Just as I began to debate the merits of exiting the shower to retrieve a bar of soap from the closet, I heard someone enter my bathroom.
“No, it’s me,” a voice replied.
“Me, who?” I asked.
“Me, Ari,” he replied.
“Do you know where Mommy keeps the bars of soap in the linen closet?” I asked.
“Yup,” he replied.
“Can you reach the drawer, grab a bar of soap, and hand it to me?” I asked.
“I can reach,” he said as I imagined him standing on his tippy toes.
I heard Ari retrieve the plastic drawer from the linen closet and place it on the vanity.
“Green or blue?” Ari asked.
“Green or blue, what?” I replied.
“Do you want a green or blue soap bar?” Ari asked.
“Surprise me,” I said.
A few too many beats passed.
“Why don’t you hand it into to me?” I said extending my arm out of the shower.
“I’m unwrapping it,” he replied indignantly.
“Okay, I’ll wait.”
As I waited for Ari to unwrap the bar, he began a line of questioning I was unprepared for. “When I can use a bar of soap?”
“Why would you want to do that?” I asked him. “You use body wash.”
“But I wanna use a bar of soap,” he replied.
“You really don’t,” I said.
“Why not?” he asked.
Tell me you’re old without saying you’re old, I thought. Instead I replied, “It’s just not youthful. Bar soap is for older people like me and Daddy who can’t break the habit of using what we grew up with. You and Isabelle use body wash. Be young. Use body wash!”
“But I want to try using soap,” he said.
“You can try it, but it takes a lot more coordination with the soap bar and the washcloth. With your body wash, you can just pump it right into your washcloth. Easy-peasy.”
He must’ve rolled his eyes at me because the next thing I heard was, “I got your soap unwrapped.”
I reached out my arm, grabbed the green soap bar, and thanked Ari for saving me. A moment later, I realized just how set in my ways I must be since I didn’t even realize there was a massive bottle of body wash — that belongs to one of my kids — in the shower. Weird.