Today was supposed to be a “big writing day,” or BWD.
BWD is when my tush is in my chair, and I’m focused on the book I’m writing nearly all day when the kids are at school.
But Ari woke up with a 102° F fever, so he’s home. Today’s BWD was thwarted by the illness that at least 20% of Ari’s class has.
After administering Tylenol, I made breakfast. That’s when I realized my parents were supposed to come tomorrow since I was supposed to have a medical procedure on Thursday afternoon. I emailed them to ask them for their next availability since I don’t want them exposed to Ari’s germs, even though I need this procedure. (It was supposed to be in late February, but Ari and Marc had colds, so they didn’t come.
I was supposed to ensure Ari stayed hydrated, but he refused to drink. I offered chocolate milk, and he drank. An hour passed, and he barely touched his water. I offered juice. He wanted orange juice, but “I don’t want it with the pulp.” I wasn’t about to run out to the store to buy pulp-free juice, so I grabbed a sieve and did this:
I set Ari up with an audiobook so I could get a bit of editing done.
Less than an hour later, Ari wanted something to eat, but we couldn’t agree on an appropriate choice. I suggested we make blueberry corn muffins even though that wasn’t what I was supposed to do. He perked up…
…until he tried one fresh out of the oven and declared that he doesn’t like cornmeal.
“Why couldn’t you have told me that earlier?”
“You know I don’t like it!” Ari accused.
“No, I don’t. I know you don’t like cornmeal pancakes, but I didn’t know you didn’t like cornmeal in general.”
“Yes, you did,” he replied.
“Honestly, you were the one who took out the ingredients. You read corn meal and removed it from the cabinet. That was your time to speak up and tell me that you didn’t like cornmeal. We couldn’t made a different recipe.”
“Oh,” he said and tried another bite.
Ultimately, he didn’t eat the muffin.
I’m supposed to be working on my book today, but that isn’t going to happen. In my head, I’m whining nonstop about the unfairness of the situation. Then, I pause and tell myself I sound like a petulant child. So I stop. But then I start again when I think of all the items on my to-do list that I was supposed to do today. Then I stop and think about the lessons I learned from Mary Louise Kelly’s It. Goes. So. Fast.. That’s when I pause my pity party and repeat my OLW from 2023 (since this year’s word (rhythm) doesn’t make sense today): Onward!
Raising Literate Humans 
Wheeeeew. I was reading and wanted to invite myself over to hang out with Ari for awhile so you could write!! 😞 Thank you for reminding me of this lesson and for the book rec. With three kiddos four and under, I feel this post deep in my bones. Here’s to good health and writing days!!
I think my favourite part of this is the repetition of the word supposed throughout the piece & then ending with OLW. In fact, now that I’m writing this, I could argue that the way you use supposed creates a nice rhythm, so it *is* related to this year’s OLW!
Well, that’s a silver lining! I didn’t even think about it like that.
Well, the best-laid plans… I am not a mother and I am in awe of all the moms I know who do so much and put things on pause. In my own life, I have to put things on pause – but not like moms do, and I applaud every mom I know – including you! I’m going to buy Mary Louise Kelly book for all my mom-friends! Thank you!
It’s one of the best books I read last year!
Being sick sucks for everyone, whether you are sick yourself or have to take care of someone ill. I think that universe is sending a message every time our plans are turned upside down, but I am not sure I always like the message or appreciate it. And I also think that sometimes we as adults are allowed to pout as kids do when things don’t go as supposed to. (I know it makes no difference in the situation though.) Wishing good health to everyone.
Sometimes thinking about it all as “get to” instead of “have to” or “supposed to” helps me when life’s plans change or aren’t what I want… but you probably know that trick and semantic. Ari’s been down for a WHILE! Hope he’s on the upturn!
Yeah, I tried that since I use that with kids (mine and other people’s) all of the time. Unfortunately, after canceling two meetings today, I still couldn’t get in the spirit.
He had a 102° fever an hour ago so I put him in bed and told him he had to rest for an hour. We will see if he sleeps…
Stacey, having a sick kid is so stressful. I’m sorry this illness derailed so many things for you and I hope you get to have the procedure you need. Your gentle mothering is evident throughout your post. Ari is one lucky child.
Thank you, Barb. We found out he tested positive for Influenza B. He was supposed to go out of town this weekend with my husband so I could have an uninterrupted weekend to write. Clearly, that won’t be happening now. 😦
I’m so sorry. I hope he heals quickly!
Stacey, You did a great job describing the all-too-familiar feelings of mothers everywhere. The best-made plans turn sour when you’re a mom. The child’s needs supersede our own and it’s not always easy. What you described is like a good recipe. First, give in a bit and vent your feelings on paper or to an understanding party. Then, do what you need to do. Finally, take a breath, find some peace and enjoy the rest of the day. It does go quickly and the day will come when you wish you could spend just one more whole day alone with your son. Hang in there!
It really does go quickly. I’m sure he won’t want me mothering him when he’s older and gets sick, but I can guarantee I’ll be there (if I’m wanted/needed).
I can hear your frustration and appreciated that it sometimes read in a humorous way, whether intentional or not. I laughed at the cornmeal interaction. Good luck to you and Ari!
And now I’m eating them myself. YIKES!
Oh so sorry you missed you time to write. I know how important that is. Such mixed feelings always – the need to write but the need and want to be with your children, especially when they don’t feel well. The push pull of parenthood or life for that matter. This happened to me last week. All set to get painting done and in comes Little Man sick and spending the day with us. The painting waited and we had a wonderful quiet day. Hope all are better quickly.
They are sweet when they’re little and sick since there’s lots of cuddle time with books. Ari is a little past that stage.
Yeah, my weekend is probably going to be lost to this too… he tested positive for Flu B! At least we know why he still has a fever!
Sigh, it wasn’t supposed to be this hard. Your repetition of that word drove home the point. Hope the family is on the mend and you get to tend to your needs as well. Onward, indeed!
Sadly, he has Flu B. Now we just have to keep the rest of our crew healthy!
I hope Ari’s feeling better. Sometimes it’s hard to find the silver lining and to turn frustration into acceptance. It sounds like you managed though. And another bright thought–more muffins for you! Did you hear the NPR interview with Mary Louise Kelly and Scott Simon about her book? They were both in tears. It was lovely.
No, I didn’t hear that interview. Do you happen to remember when it was? I’d love to take a listen.
I think this should be it: https://www.npr.org/2023/04/08/1168794965/mary-louise-kelly-on-her-memoir-it-goes-so-fast-the-year-of-no-do-overs
While I hope tomorrow is better, I share a slice from when my THEN 10 year old who became ill with what was eventually diagnosed as Mono. Now, as a mom and as a corporate leader in the biomedical field, she shared recently that I after her snow day diagnosis, I stayed home and read to her when she was too sick/tired to do anything. She shared the name of the book, Matilda, and how I laid with her in my bed and snuggled that first very sick day. Then, she said, during the days when she was still too sick to do anything, she reminded me that I snuggled with her and read this silly and wonderful book. TRUST ME, she has rarely told me of any memories that stand out of her childhood except this one…..BEING there when our kids are sick is the greatest sacrifice in our schedules but the greatest way we show our love.
I needed to hear this SO MUCH, Anita. Tomorrow will be Ari’s 10th sick day since Feb. 1! We’ve bonded by traveling the world from the couch or from bed by watching old seasons of “The Amazing Race” together. I hope he holds onto our viewing parties with the same reverence your daughter has for reading with you when she was sick.
Truly, your comment moved me to tears and reminded me that mothering through these moments is how we convey love.
Rhythm can also be syncopated, right?! Wishing you all more on-beat days to come.
Whew, my frustration was building right alongside you but by the end, I was also thinking time is fleeting. I’m sorry to hear your son is so sick and hope he recovers quickly.
I had a similar pity party yesterday afternoon because I missed the FedEx delivery guy and he set 10 five gallon buckets of paint on my front porch then I had to move every one of them to the storage shed. I did have a dolly to use but I was not happy until I realized I had to do it.
I do hope Ari feels better soon.
Oh, that’s awful! Reminds me
of when I had tires delivered to the house once. I never realized how heavy they’d be.
Happy painting!