These days, life feels layered with overlapping priorities, each one quietly insisting on my attention. With my phase two reconstruction surgery set for Wednesday, 3/11, I’m especially aware of what I want to finish before then. High on that list is ensuring Ari finishes his display board for a project over the weekend. He’s working on it with his best friend, though I keep losing track of it among the competing priorities.
It’s easy to lose track of things like this when my to-do list is so long. Yesterday, I finished Ari’s camp forms, and Isabelle’s are almost done; she just needs her annual physical first. I also checked in with the authors for the Author Spotlight Series so their posts will be ready when I’m back. In the middle of all this, I’d like to write a new Substack post for next week. Do I have to? No. Would I like to? Yes.
Before anything else, I need to check the chart I made for which medications I can and can’t take before surgery and fill my pill cases. I also want to write the kids’ lunch notes ahead of time, even though Isabelle says she doesn’t need one anymore.
Isabelle also offered to help me set up my post-op area. Still, I wonder how I’ll keep track of everything.
That’s when I realized we need a family to-do list.
So I made one on Canva, even though it took me twice as long as writing it by hand. I went over it with Marc, who’s working this weekend, and asked if I missed anything. That’s when he started listing all the things he needed to do around the house.
“I didn’t plan to put your stuff on the list, but I can add one,” I told him.
I deleted all the things the kids and I would do together this weekend, like going to Ari’s basketball game and watching the Iditarod, and made a space for Marc’s tasks.
I read the finished list out loud to him. “Am I missing anything BIG?”
“I don’t think so,” he replied.
Now the list feels more manageable if I move some of the smaller tasks to Tuesday instead of trying to do everything over the weekend.
Even though I know what to expect, I’m still nervous about the surgery. I’ve felt nauseous since Monday morning, so right now I’m just trying to stay calm and positive. That feels like its own line on the to-do list.
Before I go, I want to thank everyone who read and replied to my last slice-of-life story. Your thoughtful responses made me feel seen and understood when I really needed it.
Raising Literate Humans 
Stacey, I sure am wishing you a speedy recovery from this next step of your journey that you are so bravely and proudly (as you should be) sharing. You and your family will certainly be in our thoughts and prayers as you put one foot in front of the other and somehow get the most important parts of that whole long list done this weekend. PS I too find Canva to be slow but I just blame getting older and am sure the app was designed for young uns!
My heart hurts for you that you have to go through another surgery. You have such a busy life and honestly, you wouldn’t want it any other way! My thoughts and prayers are with you – but I know you’ll do great and feel great in a short time!
You have this entire community behind you, Stacey, for what it’s worth.
You are one strong, brave woman! You’ve come this far and we all believe that happy, healthy days are ahead for you!
You are managing a lot, especially emotionally as you prepare for surgery. Remember to take care of yourself and rest too. 💜
Thank you for the reminder. I need to do that.
Sending you healing thoughts for a quick and calm recovery.
Thank you, Sharon.
One breath. One step. One “to-do” list….at a time. P.s. Love your ambitious use of Canva for your list…how beautiful!!
I went back to handwritten lists today when I realized how many things I needed to do. I just cannot invest the kind of time Canva requires now.
Calm and positive, that’s the message that shines through, even as, or maybe because, you share so many other feelings with honesty.
I’m glad that’s what comes through.
I hope you added some self-care to your to do list. Your family will get it all done. Sending you so many healing thoughts for the surgery!
I haven’t, but appreciate the reminder to do that.
I love that your daughter offered to help set up your post-op area. That’s so sweet. I, too, am an avid list maker; and I definitely should have added “stay calm and positive” to my list through many seasons of life. Thank you for sharing this slice, filled with vulnerability, strength, and wisdom.
She’s frustrated that we didn’t get to it today, but between the Iditarod, food shopping, and helping my son with his project, there wasn’t enough time. Tomorrow!
I will be think of you this week. Do remember a to do item is to rest and relax for quick healing! I love how you organized all that needs/ wants to have happen. I am sure it will all go smoothly. Take Care!
I’m hoping to take some walks outside this week. Nature helps so much!
I’ll be thinking of you as you prepare for, and recover from this surgery! One step closer to being done will all of it, right?
I love your list. It helps me tremendously to write everything down and see the things being checked off.
Yes! I have one more surgery scheduled for early September, then I hope to be done for a long time!
I am planning for surgery, too–a post-menopausal total hysterectomy. I could somehow relate to the planning, as I had to plan for three weeks away from my school library. Tomorrow I will be making my chart for post-op meds, walking, hydration, and “coughing” exercises. I hope both of our post-op periods involve nothing but rest and healing, after all the front-loading we’ve done!
I went through that in the summer of 2024. Please reach out if you have any questions. It’s a big surgery, but if you follow the restrictions, you should heal quickly.
Wishing you strength as you go through this, Chris!
I had missed your piece yesterday so circled back to read–such a powerful, beautifully composed slice. There is so much to think about and plan for your family and for yourself this week! I’ll be sending positive, healing thoughts your way!