Just as we were driving away from my in-laws to head home to Pennsylvania, Ari blurted out, “And you better not need to stop four times to go to the bathroom again.”
That was directed at me!
You might be thinking, oh no, he didn’t! Guess what, HE DID!
I could responded kindly or I could fight fire with fire. I chose the fire method, which I’ve never done before when either kid has complained about excessive pit stops.
Stooping to a five-year-old’s level, I said, “It’s your fault I had to stop to go to the bathroom multiple times on the way up here.”
“My fault? What do you mean?” Ari retorted.
“After women have babies, they often have to go to the bathroom more frequently,” I replied.
“Why?” Ari asked.
I looked at my husband, who is a physician, and said, “I need you to take this one.”
Marc explained the way the uterus pushes on the bladder during pregnancy. He explained about weakening of bladders afterwards. {Chef’s kiss 👨🍳😗 for the explanation.}
Ari had a hard time believing he was responsible, even after that. Hmph!
Somewhere in NJ, Ari declared, “I need to pee NOW!”
I knew that was going to happen since we hadn’t stopped yet and because he consumed his entire water bottle in less than 90 minutes.
“I already figured you’d need to use the bathroom so we’ll get off at exit 22, which is coming up in a few minutes,” I said.
“I need to go now!”
“You’re going to have to hold it or you’re going to have a wet booster seat for two more hours.”
He relented. “I can hold it.”
And he did.
Wiith that, we made our first stop of the drive — because of Ari, not me — at a Starbucks in Bedminster, NJ. I didn’t even say a word about how we had to stop because of him, not me. BUT, I will be petty enough to bring this up if he complains about me needing to stop before we get home. After all, it is partially his fault that I need to go more often.
Raising Literate Humans 
Fighting five-year-old fire with fire- way to go, momma for bringing in an expert witness!
I didn’t think of him as an expert witness, but that’s EXACTLY why I called him in. 🙂
Yes! Kids need to have a foul called when needed!
This was fun to read.
Touché mama, touché.
Ahh….I’m not sure what’s tastier…that hot chocolate, or that sweet, sweet vindication. Mamas of the world unite!
Definitely the vindication!
I love everything about this. My daughter also knows she threw a shoulder on her way out, which resulted in even more challenges in which I wet my pants. Stopping on road trips have so much family history in how we respond. In 20 years his stories about road trips as a kid will be fun to hear.
I can’t wait to tell his future spouse some of these stories! 🤣
This really gave me a laugh. I can only imagine the explanation, along with Ari’s eyes growing larger.
LOL! Sometimes you just have to tell it like it is!