I didn’t leave the house all weekend. That wasn’t the plan. I was getting ready to go to synagogue for Shabbat morning services on Saturday when we received the call that Mini Congregation was canceled due to the wintry mix falling from the sky. Seeing as I had a sinus infection, I figured it was the perfect opportunity to stay in bed and rest. And rest I did.
And so did Isabelle. In fact, when Marc went out to pick up dinner and my prescription, she stayed in bed with me and I read Clever Jack Takes the Cake to her over and over again. But once we ate dinner downstairs, Isabelle wanted to party. Yes, party. Maybe it was because she had just had her birthday party earlier in the week or maybe it was because she was tired of being cooped-up inside, but she wanted to party. We offered her two options:
- Turn on the TV to one of the cable TV music stations and have a dance party.
- Watch our wedding video.
She choose the second option, which was my preferred option since I hadn’t watched my wedding DVD in almost two years. The three of us sat on the couch and watched together, but Isabelle quickly got weepy. “Where was I?” she inquired.
“You weren’t born yet,” I said.
“Was I in your belly?” she inquired.
“No, you weren’t in my belly,” I replied.
“But where was I before I was born?” she cried.
I gave her a variety of answers, none of which placated her. Finally, the Hora came on and the three of us danced around our great room for 20 minutes, which was long enough for her to forget about her question.
Yesterday evening, Isabelle wasn’t feeling 100%. After she ate her dinner, she requested to watch our wedding video again. Again? Really?!!? Was this going to become a nightly thing? I was making dinner, but promised her Marc would put it on as soon as he came downstairs. (TRUTH: I don’t know how to operate our DVD player! I’m sure I could learn, but I rarely use it so…)
Once he arrived downstairs, he put the DVD on for her. She sat on the couch, wrapped in two blankets, and said, “Why I was not there?”
“Where was I?” I corrected — as a way to delay the tears.
“Where was I?” Isabelle said, slowly.
“You weren’t born yet,” I replied.
“I was in your belly?” she asked.
“Nope, you weren’t in my belly,” I replied as “I could not ask for more” by Edwin McCain played in the background.
“Where was I before I was born?” she wondered.
“You were in my heart,” I blurted out.
“I was in your heart?” she asked, perplexed.
“Yes, you were in my heart. Right here.” I pointed towards my chest.
“Oh,” she paused. “I was in your heart.”
“Is that nice?” I asked.
“Yes. I was in mommy’s heart.”
Isabelle seemed pleased. And I was pleased that I didn’t tell a lie, nor did I upset her. She continued to watch the video (i.e., the Ketubah signing, B’deken, and entire ceremony, which was NOT short since we had two WONDERFUL rabbis officiating) with rapt attention. Every now and then I heard, “I was in mommy’s heart.”
Yes, sweet girl. Yes you were.